The reality is always different then dreams. Different and ruthless. It meticulously points all my weakness and mistakes out.

I wasn’t aware my suppressions. I thought that I was able to… read favourite book in English unaided of dictionary. Instead of that, I’ve been fighting with words, phrases and constructions. It’s like never ending nightmare when you try, the best you can, to finish something under the pressure, and you can’t do it. In place of 10 read pages, 20 new occur. The time is running fast, faster and faster with every single page which you’ve finished. An impatience colors your face in red. Your cheeks burn you like white-hot kettle. You feel almost physically pressure of time. You start to recognize that this book has only outset, without any ending. Never mind – happy or not. You can’t just wait to finish this book. But probably it will first change itself into huge, paper Frankenstein and… eat you!

Ok, stop right know!

My imagination is bigger then I. Because of that, when I was kid I avoid all this dreadful, scary movie. You know, all of this movies with frenzied had of Jack Nicholson squinting at you from damaged doors.

 

 

 

 

Every flying white robe, each crazy scientist vivifying dinosaurs or breeding brave new humanoid race, made me tremble with fear. Even know, I can’t take it easy. I’m not able to watch this kind of movie without batting an eyelid. I need a big, soft pillow behind which I can hide myself. Like a small kid I’ve still believed that if I hide my face behind the pillow or close my eyes I will be safe. I will be invisible for the monsters, ghosts, serial killers, aliens and other Predator. Cuz, obviously, if I can’t see them, they can see me neither!

 

So I was frightened to death when draught suddenly closed… book which I was reading in empty flat. The book was closed with a dull thud. In the same moment not only book was closed, but draught also switched off flickers of hope in my eyes. Hope that this book would be read one day. It left me almost without any consolation. Almost, cuz, this dull thud forced me to thinking, if I’m still dreaming or not? Maybe I’m a prisoner of new, unknown words from my favorite book? Why I can’t stop reading? Are I really reading or maybe I’m writing long, boring story from the words which I checked in dictionary. Unknown words from book which I was reading? I started to hesitate like Chuang Tzu: “I don’t know whether I was a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man?” … And…

Didn’t I told you, that this story has no ending! 😉

 

* Ladies and gentlemen!

This blog was written by words witch I had found new in “Small gods” of Terry Pratchett, the book I had been reading for our English Book Club. The idea of using new vocabulary to write a short story occurred in my mind thanks:

–          Furkan’s activity “Understanding English”

–         Creative Writing.

On this meetings we… have fun and practice English, writing, imagination. It’s also good way to leave fear of making mistake. Contrary, the first rule of CW is: mistake can make you more creative… writer 😉