Primary energy


My cousin Lola used to come all summers with my uncles to the small house that my parents had in Cape Cod, New Island. She had 11 years old and I remember her like a spot in my ass: so savage and noisy. She was born in Brasov, Romania, because her parents moved there long ago for working. I wondered myself why she couldn’t have keep there. As far as I know, Brasov is wonderful in summer and there are some bears walking around the Tâmpâ. I really wished that one of that bears abduct her. She was like an ¡atomic bomb! and I hated my luck during these visits. With the past of the time, when Lola got into the adolescence, I started to see interesting differences into her. I don’t know if the real change was operating into her or into me. Perhaps both of us were changing together. I don’t know exactly when or why…………but we reconciled one to each other. Sometimes, I like to remember that days in Cape Cod.

Once upon a time Lola was big, strong, full of energy………

Once a time, she had no memories. She used to give away quite feelings, so cheap. She still didn’t discover the price of sharing emotions, and she spent lot of them, without measurement, so fun.

Long time ago Lola was clean, direct, full of energy…………….

Somewhen, she had no consciousness. She used to kiss everyone, her lips were so nasty. She still didn’t discover the deep of love, and she spent a lot of pettings into strange mouths, without care about consequences, so indulgent.

Along the last few years Lola was self-confident, persistent, full of energy…………

In her past, she had no fear. She used to ask everything that crossed her mind. Her words as sharp swords, as colorful flowers, were so disordered. Perhaps she already didn’t learn how to specify the oral power, and she spent lot of time saying long sentences, so useless.

In some point Lola was happy, selfish, full of energy……………

Then, she had no long vision, and she used to focus on her nearby space, her conception about the distance was limited to the short surroundings, so narrow. For sure, she didn’t know the correlation between space and time, and her goals were highly connected with her best momentary wishes.

Somewhere near to the present, her view started to elongate, her fears started to appear, her consciousness became sensitive and her memories rose up, like the sun over the hottest onset of the world: so heavy and hot. As a consequence, Lola became slimmer, more refined and her tone of voice accurate, precise. Her tongue became lazy, but selective.

One day we were having the breakfast and her phone rang. Lola stood up and went apart. I observed her body, the language of her movements. She was arguing with someone. I will never forget this moment, when she put her hands into the pockets of the skirt, looking for something that she will never find again. Lola had lost her primary energy.


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