You can not believe that i wrote blog like that..

 

İngredients :  1 liter Stejar

0,5 Ursus ( thanks to Kike )

Bombay bicyle club – Still

Regina Spektor – Hero

Cake – Friend is a four letter word

Some parts from : 500 days of summer / Sweet November

 

‘’ This is my story, i even didnt write my 2. Chapter of lost translation.. Cuz i can not find any inspiration.. I wanna write something now cuz i think i had found a inspiration when i was looking empty white walls.. ‘’

 

You are the guy who stays next to computer. You are alone but you never ever uncomfortable about it. You had some relationships..Or crazy nights or parties. And some how time is pass.. You watch ‘’ how I met your mother ‘’ And you emulation to main characters.. You start to think like Barney. Still may not be aware that you are not satisfied with your life.

 

And university.. Enjoy with people, investigate such things..

 

And you met with her. Speaking face to face, try to understand, discover her world. You fight long time for it. And after you start a whole new era in your life. Is it age or is just of her but something is weird.. But you could understand it after first kiss. The first time was not of necessity. It was so sincere for the first time. It was really innocent.. First time in your life you could watch your lover. When she drunks her beer or coffe or something else, you feel the taste of it in your mouth. You would prefer to see her in the nights and in the mornings.. I mean you would feel happy when you are with her.

 

Just as you would always try to predict the end of the relationship. But I told you a little bit different. “I think we cannot do” and go home and play with the computer is not so simple. You cannot imagine ‘’ what kind of fights can we have or what’s our limit ? how can I make her mad ? ‘’

 

You can think like Michael Scofiel ‘’ everything will be allright. ‘’

 

Somehow..Something happen and you can live first separation. You cry so much first time in your life but if you peace next day you feel so good.  It seems like,  stick your head into the water to keep your breath you know. So it is separation. When you take out your head from water, do you know first breathe ? Oxygen goes to your livers..  It’s a relief.

 

You say ‘’ I love you ‘’ first time with your all feelings. And you notice that first time this sentence is so important for you.  Love doesn’t deal, you can love a person without reason. Then you can think about yourself. But you can not tell it no one. ‘’ I wonder do I love you ? /  I wonder if I am in love with you ? What is love ? ‘’  then after you can find the answer yourself…

 

Definition of love is already subjective. You can’t find anybody as reference to yourself. It hasn’t got be any threshold. Then you think about ‘’ lover characters ‘’ Which is fact or fiction. Rose and Jack, Sofie and Julien, Clementine and Joe even Wall-e, Marla Singer..

 

But love look like brown.  You will never ever know about other 7 billion people will see brown like you one day. You will always love your brown. Like love, which is the most important word. If you look into her eyes after a bottle of wine and tell her with your all honestly.  If you think she deserves to hear this word. It’s mean that you are in love with her. That’s why you can tell it to her so easly. To her and yourself. Maybe Rose can used to not see Jack again. Sofie and Julien may endure for a long time. Clementine can afford to erase everything… But you and her is different. But you can’t stay without your brown. Your brown is much bigger than other’s blue, green, black. It’s really hard to explain ‘’ love ‘’ a person which has never ever tasted it.. It is as hard as tell a blind person ‘’ what is color ? ‘’ but you can discover about it when you have a love. So it is impossible to fool yourself that you are in love.

 

You can tell everything to her, she tells you everything also. She becomes the most important thing in your life. When you are kid you would cry about ‘’ if my parents dies one day ? ‘’ but with time this sentence can be more important then other ‘’ if we split one day ? ‘’ You can think when I started to love you like that. You can scared to make her bad. You can’t control your hands to play with her hair or touch nose or more things. More valuable than the most precious diamond.. Fragile, the most fragile than glass. So you afraid of breaking it.

 

 

Everybody talks something about you, everybody has a sentence like ‘’ a beautiful couple ‘’ some people talks good things, some people talks bad things. But nobody understands you..Nobody understands her. Then you can watch more ‘’ six feet under ‘’ in these days. You can see bigger pains then your pain.. you wish that ‘’ if i gone 2 hours late.. or if I woudnt see her in the road.. if I woke up  hour early’’ and we woudnt fight.

 

And suddenly you realase that you had changed. Yes people can change. You can realize small and big things when you are alive. People can change but they change varies for each other. Change due to each other. They change together.. You can have lots of things to live together.. Lot of dreams that you build inside of you. When you look into the future, you think your life with her. You can’t think nothing without her. Nothing has a meaning without her. Everything is empty.

 

And if a separation comes unexpected way and in unexpected time.. When your eyes full of with light.. You can’t accept it.. You can’t hear it. How much pain or suffering or how long it takes time if you don’t know. You dont want to let hopes dies.. You hope that love forgive everything..Maybe 2 of you need a chance ?

As Tom says to Summer :  You know what sucks ? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete and utter bullshit.